Now we're engaged. What next?

Girl meets boy.
Girl dates boy.
Boy proposes to girl.
Girl says YES!
Boy and Girl are happy.
And then, the whirlwind begins...

Source - Weddinglds.com

After a couple agrees formally to marry each other, the next few weeks, months, and sometimes years, become devoted to Wedding Planning. From invitations to guest lists to venue locations and dealing with vendors, it can (and has, in our case) seem too big to handle. Just when you think you have quite a bit of time to plan, the months become weeks, and weeks become days. Before you know it, 6 months turns into 6 hours!

The best way to deal with the impending flurry of wedding planning activity, is to break everything down, and start with a To-Do List.

Here is our To-Do List for the Newly Engaged Couple!

1. Set a TIMETABLE - How long do you want to wait before getting married? What season/month do you envision getting married in - Summer, Winter, Dry Season? That should give you an initial handle on how much time you have to plan.
   
2. Pick your WEDDING DATE - In Nigeria, this typically means confirming the date availability with your house of worship, as well as both families.
   
3. Inform your FAMILIES - In Nigeria, a wedding involves the bride and groom's family members, and sometimes even extended family. Before you can set any plans in stone, you need agreement from both sets of parents (it just makes life easier). Because cultural traditions are a huge deal in Nigeria, your parents can then give you advice on the "proper" timeline and schedule of events, e.g., Introduction, Dowry Payment, Traditional Marriage.
   
4. Dream Up Your WEDDING STYLE and Pick a LOCATION/VENUE - Are you thinking of a retro-themed wedding? Are you looking to have a Glitz and Glam affair? Do you even want to get married in Nigeria? (Destination weddings are fast becoming a trend amongst those who can afford it) Whatever your style is, start making plans towards it, and look for a ceremony/reception venue that falls within your preference. It's best to notify your reception venue choice EARLY, especially if you want to get married in December (hottest month for weddings in Nigeria). Also be ready to pay early, because it's usually First Pay, Only Booked!
   
5. Set a BUDGET - How much money do you HAVE, NOT WANT, to spend? How much are your families ready to contribute? There is absolutely no reason to go into debt simply because of a wedding. Don't forget that you'll still have to get a place to live, buy furniture, etc. Make a realistic budget that's within your means, and look for venues, vendors, and more that will work with your budget.
   
6. Draft a GUEST LIST - How many people do you want at your wedding? How many people do your parents want at the wedding? Come to a middle ground, and work with that list. If you're like us and want a small wedding, then get ready to deal with more than a few upset friends and extended relations.
   
7. Choose your WEDDING PARTY - Your bridal party should consist of those people who are closest to you, NOT chosen for you by anybody else! You want to have your best gals and guys surrounding you on that day. Keep in mind that the size of your bridal party should be relative to the size of your wedding. Would you have 20 bridesmaids, and 20 groomsmen, with a guest list of 100 people? It would look skewed.
   
   *Something we've noticed in Nigeria is that the bridal party is usually given barely more than a second's thought. We've seen where groomsmen aren't even told they're in the bridal party until a week before the wedding! That's plain rude and not being courteous. Please inform your chosen bridal party members EARLY, in case they need to save money, make travel arrangements, and more.*
   
8. Consider a CONSULTANT/WEDDING PLANNER - The bigger weddings are in Nigeria, the more sense it makes to hire a wedding planner. Weddings here tend to have 300-1000 guests, and it's best to use the services of professionals, so that you're not overwhelmed. In addition, they more than likely already have a list of vendors they use, so it would be easy for them to procure their services.
   
   These days, you don't even need to hire the planner for the whole planning period. You can hire someone to be the Wedding Day Coordinator. You would typically discuss your wedding plans with them beforehand, keeping them informed of EVERYTHING, so that they can adequately handle all the minute details on the wedding day.
   
9. Sign up on a WEDDING PLANNING WEBSITE or buy a WEDDING PLANNING BOOK - If you'd rather not hire a wedding planner, then sign up on a planning website or get necessary wedding literature to help you get started on the numerous items on the checklist. Regardless of whether you have a planner or not, it's a good idea to have a book or folder with all your wedding items, plans, inspiration and more, for easy reference.
   
   We're signed up on TheKnot.com and NaMyWedding.com. TheKnot has a wealth of information, but isn't really geared to the Nigerian bride/groom. NaMyWedding, while Nigerian-centered, is lacking a lot in the personal planning tools.
   
10. Sign up for PREMARITAL COUNSELING - Most churches in Nigeria will not marry you, if you have not gone through their marriage counseling sessions. In some churches, it lasts for 6 weeks. In other churches, six months! Find out early from your pastors or intended officiant, what the required procedures are and ensure that you get this out of the way BEFORE the wedding date. For couples who live abroad, concessions are usually made; e.g. intense counseling sessions packed into a 1 or 2-week period, OR doing it via the world wide web.

Once you've started on these items, you're well on your way to having the wedding of YOUR dreams! It can get hectic, but do your best to enjoy the journey, and take time out regularly, to relax with each other. Remember the marriage is what's important.

:)